3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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