One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize