Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize