ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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