Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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