I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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