Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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