We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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