dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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