i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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