just come out here and I will go home with you...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize