all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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