I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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