I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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