I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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