I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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