god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
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My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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