I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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