I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize