I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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