Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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