I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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