pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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