i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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