At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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