It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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