brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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