..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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