After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize