don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize