Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize