She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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