omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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