hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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