I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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