I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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