What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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