at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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