what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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