I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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