Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize