and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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