We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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