That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize