My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize