I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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