dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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