I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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