literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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