it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I believe in your delicious
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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